Spam Text Messaging?

I am normally pretty mellow when it comes to spam. It's mostly filtered out, and I can just delete the crap I get. Junk mail, I can throw away. No problem. But you know what really gets my blood BOILING?

At 12:26 AM, I get a text message. A LOUD F-ING TEXT MESSAGE. I have FINALLY fallen asleep after a crazy night involving my infant having a fever of 103.5, a trip to the ER, a long wait at a pharmacy, an almost-anxiety attack, and an all around piece of CRAP day, but I wake up anyway, open my phone (quite groggily at that) and open it up to see what idiot is sending me a text message at half past midnight on a Sunday.

TEXT MESSAGE
FROM: lvipbs@family.cc-net.or.jp
you cant argue with this business, RPDM, Rapid Fire Marketing Margie HTyson
Mon Oct 8 12:26 am

If I ever find Margie HTyson, she's going to have my cell phone removed from her rectum shortly thereafter.

Secondly, the exact same message came through exactly 8 minutes ago, prompting this blog. So now, I have to sleep with my phone on silent? Which voids my alarm clock, which means I have to buy an alarm clock? So I don't get TEXT MESSAGE SPAM? This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen and I am L-I-V-I-D.

In case you are wondering, in 2003, Congress did pass a law making this illegal. This is from the FCC website: In 2003, Congress enacted the Controlling the Assault of Non-Solicited Pornography and Marketing (CAN-SPAM) Act to curb spam. As required by the Act, the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) adopted rules that prohibit sending unwanted commercial e-mail messages to wireless devices without prior permission. This ban took effect in March 2005. In addition, the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) adopted detailed rules that restrict sending unwanted commercial e-mail messages to computers. To find out more about the FTC’s rules, visit http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/edcams/spam/consumer.htm.

There is a complaint form I will fill out, which the FCC won't really do anything about because these people don't exist or don't use their real names or they just hacked some poor schmuck who was looking at "free porn" that got spyware downloaded to his computer, and I'll still get the text messages, which will prompt me to turn off my text messages eventually, which sucks, because I really like texting my friends and family all day long. F U SPAMMERS! (Maybe if I speak their language, they'll listen?)

In the meantime, I'm going to google-hunt Rapid Fire Marketing and Margie H Tyson, and set my alarm for every hour tonight between 12 and 5 am and call them, text them, and drive by their homes and honk my horn. See if they text ME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!